Movies would have us believe that just about anything is justified if it’s done in the pursuit of true love. As a result, behavior that would be considered manipulative or creepy in the real world can sometimes be framed as romantic, particularly when the perpetrators are handsome Hollywood heartthrobs.
The line between devotion and stalking is a fine one, and Hollywood has been clumsily trampling all over it for decades. In this list, we delve below the surface of many famous and beloved romantic movie moments to unearth the troubling messages within.
Say Anything - Boombox Scene
It’s an image that’s seared into the cultural consciousness; John Cusack holding a boombox up to a bedroom window. This scene from the 1989 romantic drama Say Anything has become the archetype of grand gestures, parodied so often that younger generations are likely more familiar with the spoofs - in South Park, Deadpool and Family Guy, among countless others - than with the eighties classic that spawned them.
All but forgotten is the creepy context of the scene. Cusack’s character, Lloyd, has recently been dumped by Diane (Ione Skye). Diane was pressured by her father to end the relationship, but whilst the audience is aware of this, Lloyd is not. All Lloyd knows is that Diane has told him to stay away. This ‘romantic’ moment, therefore, shows Lloyd ignoring her wishes and showing up at her house uninvited to publicly blast out a song they’d previously had sex to. Not a post-breakup behavior that should be encouraged.
Twilight - Bedroom Scene
“How did you get in here?” Bella asks when she awakens to find sparkly vampire love interest, Edward, in her bedroom one night.
This scene, in the 2008 movie that spawned the Twilight franchise, has become mildly infamous. Upon the discovery that the 108-year-old Edward has been climbing through her bedroom window for a ‘couple of months’ to watch her sleep, 17-year-old Bella doesn’t seem to mind too much. The underlying message being that if you reciprocate someone’s feelings, consent is implicit, and they are free to cross all reasonable personal - and legal - boundaries.
Big - Implied Sex Scene
Whilst some movie moments are simply a victim of time and our growing sensitivity to issues related to culture and gender, it’s a mystery how others were ever deemed appropriate.
In Big, Tom Hanks is a 13-year-old-boy named Josh trapped in a grown man’s body - unbeknownst to those around him. In one scene, it is implied that he has sex with a woman named Susan; they develop feelings for each other, leading to a sad parting when Josh returns to his life as an adolescent. We can only speculate as to which character walked away from that experience more messed up.
Love Actually - Doorstep Scene
The most iconic scene in festive 2003 schmaltz-fest Love Actually is the one in which Andrew Lincoln’s character confesses his love to Keira Knightly’s character through a series of hand-written placards.
The only problem? She’s married to his best friend. And let’s be realistic; appearing un-invited at married woman’s door to profess passionate feelings for her, whilst also demanding that she not tell her husband, will rarely be awarded with a kiss, no matter how adorable the method of communicating the message.
Sixteen Candles - Car Scene
The underlying romantic premise of John Hughes 1984 coming of age classic, Sixteen Candles, is that the popular high school jock Jake chooses the ‘every girl’ Sam over his hot cheerleader girlfriend Caroline.
The issue is that Caroline’s party-loving, more overtly sexual persona is pitted against that of the demure, virginal sophomore Sam. Whilst Caroline’s charms may have more popular appeal in the culture of high school, Jake realizes that Sam is the true ideal. This contempt for Caroline is exemplified when Jake, preoccupied with his new love interest, passes his drunk and unconscious girlfriend to archetypal geek Ted, stating; “she’s so blitzed she won’t know the difference” and “I could violate her 10 different ways if I wanted to.” It’s implied that sexual contact then ensues between the two, despite Caroline’s obvious intoxication.
Big Fish - Daffodil Scene
There are many romantic movies guilty of romanticizing male characters who won’t take no for an answer. A woman’s initial refusal is an opportunity for a man to ‘prove’ his love through a series of grand gestures, with the woman invariably giving in and, in some cases, dumping her existing boyfriend once she realizes just how devoted her new suitor is.
The scene in Tim Burton’s 2003 fantasy-drama, Big Fish, in which Edward Bloom (Ewan McGregor) presents hundreds of daffodils to Sandra Bloom (Alison Lohman), is genuinely sweet. However, he stalked her for several days on her college campus before making his initial move, even though she is engaged and has already turned him down once. Thus, the subtext of their interaction is less than perfect.
The Notebook - Ferris Wheel Scene
The Notebook is a pillar among chick flicks, a beloved tear-jerker romance that helped launch the careers of Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, who play the romantic leads Noah and Allie.
When Noah spots Allie at a carnival, he is infatuated instantly. He pursues her, climbing a ferris wheel that she is on with a male companion, and demanding that she date him. When she declines - obviously - he doesn’t take no for an answer, threatening to let himself drop from the wheel until she agrees. This grand gesture is portrayed as both playful and dramatic, with Allie secretly bowled over by Noah’s dedication to securing a date with her. In reality, it’s straightforward coercion, unlikely to be well received by any woman.
10 Things I Hate About You - Singing Scene
In his breakout role in high school rom-com 10 Things I Hate About You, Heath Ledger’s character Patrick is repeatedly rebuffed by Kat, played by Julia Stiles, but continues to pursue her regardless.
Eventually, she is won over by him serenading her during a football game; an extremely public space in which a rejection would likely make her appear callous. This is yet another example of a man’s refusal to accept rejection being rewarded. And if the man in question wasn’t as handsome and charming as Heath Ledger, it’s likely that audiences might perceive his behavior differently.
Crazy Stupid Love - Naked Picture Scene
Star-studded 2011 comedy Crazy, Stupid, Love features a number of romantic storylines, including one between 13-year-old Robbie and his much older babysitter Jessica, on whom he has a crush. At one point, Robbie publicly announces his love for Jessica, embarrassing her in front of their whole school.
Bizarrely, she opts to reward this inappropriate behavior in an even more inappropriate way; by gifting the 13-year-old some naked pictures of her. Baffling how this didn’t ring any alarm bells in the writer’s room.
Dead Poet’s Society - Party Scene
In the wake of Robin William’s death, it’s painful to reflect on this troubling scene in the beloved 1989 drama Dead Poets Society, in which the character Knox kisses his cheerleader crush whilst she’s passed out at a party.
The core characters in the film each experience a ‘carpe diem’ moment, inspired by their passionate teacher (Williams). This is Knox’s moment, as the character is previously portrayed as lacking confidence around girls. Unfortunately, it also amounts to a pretty blatant sexual assault.
